You know, I’ve never been one to really care about my age. When I was 16, ya maybe I was excited to drive. I mean, hello freedom! That also came with “You need to go pick up your sisters” and “If you want to drive, you need to get a job” said in a dad voice. This was annoying because my sisters were generally no where to be found when I went to pick them up, such a waste of time. When I turned 18, yay I could vote and smoke legally if I actually wanted to smoke, which is gross by the way. At 18, voting was not a priority to me nor did it have the same importance it does now. When I turned 21, yay I can legally drink, if I actually wanted to drink. There have been occasions where my age has seemed important and worthy of caring about but none have physically made me feel the way I do now.
This year, now that I’m almost 30, the logical part of my brain is like, “whatever it’s just an another year older”. The other part of my brain, hormones, physical being, I don’t know what to call it is freaking out, “OMG OMG OMG Seriously in 2 weeks you will be 30 and you have done NOTHING with your life”. I spent a while the other night just thinking about how I’m not where I want to be in life, I’m single and have not even started on a family, and I don’t have a fabulous career/making good money. I seriously thought I was having a panic attack over turning 30 and that is very much unlike me. While I am disappointed none of the things I mentioned are things that I have, I’m not unhappy. I’m happy and content with the way my life is, even if I occasionally get lonely, because let’s face it, being single can be rather lonely. There are areas in my life I want to change and I’m working on them but nothing that should make me feel bad.
Why am I writing this? I just wanted to get it out of my head. I really could care less but the irrational me can’t let it go. On a certain level I can understand why my friend was freaking out about turning 30 last December. It also makes me wonder and sort of sad to think about what drives me, possibly others, to think about what are acceptable achievements for woman approaching 30. This can be asked about both men and woman and for any age. What makes us think that at any given age, we should be living a certain way?
Tiffany – The Tangled Taurus